Run, baby, run.

I desperately need help.

Okay, maybe desperate is a strong word.

Since moving to Austin, I've gone running twice. It's a serious problem. And now I'm having trouble motivating myself on a daily basis. It's not until I'm lying in bed at night, reflecting on the day, that I can finally motivate myself enough to go. By then, it's too late. That's usually about the time I wish I were still in College Station and could run at night.

Speaking of, I had text conversation with Jenna a few months ago that went something like this:

Jenna: "Hey, you don't go running by yourself at night anymore, right?"

Me: "Haha no, why?"

Jenna: "Just, you know. You're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy."

And she's right. I'm not in Kansas anymore. Which is why I need to get over myself and my aversion to driving somewhere to go run (I mean, really, it's counterintuitive. Why would I drive somewhere to run when I can just run?! Not to mention that then I have to carry my keys). But the truth of the matter is that running on the sidewalk next to the feeder road is just not appealing to me. Neither is running in place on a treadmill. My third (and final) option is to suck it up and drive.

The problem is… I don't. Really, I need a running buddy, but that's not much of an option right now. By the way, this is where you guys come in. Listen up, because I'm only admitting this once. I can't do it by myself. I need some help. Not just with getting back into shape, but also with motivating myself to get up and just go. So I'm going to lay it all out on the table. Every excuse, every hesitation, every reason I've ever thought of to stay home. I need you guys to refute them.

1. I can't go in the morning. I have to get in the shower by 6:30 in order to make it to work on time, which means it's still too dark. I haven't done the math on how early I'd have to get up to run at Zilker. It's really the only option I'd have that early in the morning, and all I know is that it takes about 10 minutes to get there.
2. By the time 5:30 rolls around, I'm exhausted from working all day. It's baffling. It's not like my job is strenuous.
3. If I leave at 5:30, I don't get home until at least 6, but usually closer to 6:15. I'm hungry (and tired, as I said before), and all I want to do is eat dinner.
4. Eating dinner leads to watching TV. You guys know me enough to realize that the amount of TV shows I watch each week probably qualifies me for some kind of record. Once I start relaxing, it's so much easier to just stay there. Not to mention that the window of opportunity to run after work is slim to say the least. Like two hours.

So there you have it.

The truth is I miss running, but I hate getting into shape. I've always been like this. I hate being bad at anything, so I don't have enough patience to work at getting better. I love running when I'm not sucking air within the first ten minutes. I like being in shape, being capable of things I never imagined, and doing things I never thought I could do. I like how it clears my head. It somehow makes all my worries disappear. I feel free, like I can and will do anything. I'm just having a little trouble getting to the starting gate.

So please, feel free to comment, send me an e-mail, call, text, all of the above, or none of the above. I've proven that I can't motivate myself, so let's try this.