Going Veg(an)

As you guys know, I’ve been struggling to find the motivation to live a healthy, active lifestyle. This includes the food I’ve been eating. The truth is, I work all day and it’s 1,000 times easier to buy my lunch instead of bring it, have dinner be whatever I can scrounge up in my refrigerator (for a reference, I once had bread and nutella for dinner every day for an entire week. Yeah.), then sit on the couch and watch TV instead of exercise. I’ve decided that I’ve had enough. I’m determined to change something, and I’d prefer to do it before I weigh 300 pounds.

Call me crazy (it’s ok if you do, I probably would if I were you), but I’ve decided to give this vegan thing a shot. Maybe the hippies here are rubbing off on me. Regardless, I’m testing the water. We’ll see what happens. I’m sure I won’t be perfect, and that’s ok. The point is I’m trying. I’ve only been at it for a few days (and the first day I cheated and ate cheese), but I honestly feel better than I have in a long time. I guess all I’m saying is so far so good, but I’ll be sure to check back in every once in a while and let y’all know how it’s going.

In the meantime, I found this awesome vegan blog. The girl who writes the blog seems pretty cool; she went vegan for health reasons instead of moral ones and even has before and after pictures that show how effective it has been. She’s an advocate for healthy vegan diets (rather

than the more convenient temptation to just load up on carbs), and has a lot of good tips. She also posts recipes. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I’m cooking. Be surprised. It’s an added perk. I’ll be a good cook in no time! I hope.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely no intention of becoming one of those die-hard, combative vegan types. I've never been one to tell others how to live their life, and I won't start now. I want to be healthy, and helping animals in the meantime is just icing on the cake.

Truthfully, I always thought the whole vegetarian/vegan movement was a load of crap. I mean really, the world of animal agriculture is not going to tip off its axis just because a few people are choosing not to eat meat or dairy. That’s just the way it is.

I’ve heard the arguments before; I’ve read brochures handed out on campus, even browsed a few websites, but I will admit that recently it’s been harder for me to ignore the things that are going on, and it's become even harder as I realize that I've been funding it. I know that, in theory, the practices don’t have to be inhumane, but the reality is that money matters and in the world of mass production that means that these animals are being mistreated. I refuse to get on a soap box about this, but it’s something to think about. If you want to read more, this is where I started. However, let me say now that I do not necessarily agree wholeheartedly with the entire vegan philosophy. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to eat meat, but I do believe in the humane treatment of all animals, so if you choose to browse that website please understand that I’m not endorsing the whole “animals are here with us, not for us” philosophy.

I’m going to miss queso.

Run, baby, run.

I desperately need help.

Okay, maybe desperate is a strong word.

Since moving to Austin, I've gone running twice. It's a serious problem. And now I'm having trouble motivating myself on a daily basis. It's not until I'm lying in bed at night, reflecting on the day, that I can finally motivate myself enough to go. By then, it's too late. That's usually about the time I wish I were still in College Station and could run at night.

Speaking of, I had text conversation with Jenna a few months ago that went something like this:

Jenna: "Hey, you don't go running by yourself at night anymore, right?"

Me: "Haha no, why?"

Jenna: "Just, you know. You're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy."

And she's right. I'm not in Kansas anymore. Which is why I need to get over myself and my aversion to driving somewhere to go run (I mean, really, it's counterintuitive. Why would I drive somewhere to run when I can just run?! Not to mention that then I have to carry my keys). But the truth of the matter is that running on the sidewalk next to the feeder road is just not appealing to me. Neither is running in place on a treadmill. My third (and final) option is to suck it up and drive.

The problem is… I don't. Really, I need a running buddy, but that's not much of an option right now. By the way, this is where you guys come in. Listen up, because I'm only admitting this once. I can't do it by myself. I need some help. Not just with getting back into shape, but also with motivating myself to get up and just go. So I'm going to lay it all out on the table. Every excuse, every hesitation, every reason I've ever thought of to stay home. I need you guys to refute them.

1. I can't go in the morning. I have to get in the shower by 6:30 in order to make it to work on time, which means it's still too dark. I haven't done the math on how early I'd have to get up to run at Zilker. It's really the only option I'd have that early in the morning, and all I know is that it takes about 10 minutes to get there.
2. By the time 5:30 rolls around, I'm exhausted from working all day. It's baffling. It's not like my job is strenuous.
3. If I leave at 5:30, I don't get home until at least 6, but usually closer to 6:15. I'm hungry (and tired, as I said before), and all I want to do is eat dinner.
4. Eating dinner leads to watching TV. You guys know me enough to realize that the amount of TV shows I watch each week probably qualifies me for some kind of record. Once I start relaxing, it's so much easier to just stay there. Not to mention that the window of opportunity to run after work is slim to say the least. Like two hours.

So there you have it.

The truth is I miss running, but I hate getting into shape. I've always been like this. I hate being bad at anything, so I don't have enough patience to work at getting better. I love running when I'm not sucking air within the first ten minutes. I like being in shape, being capable of things I never imagined, and doing things I never thought I could do. I like how it clears my head. It somehow makes all my worries disappear. I feel free, like I can and will do anything. I'm just having a little trouble getting to the starting gate.

So please, feel free to comment, send me an e-mail, call, text, all of the above, or none of the above. I've proven that I can't motivate myself, so let's try this.

#whati'mlisteningto

Bear with me. Some of these aren't exactly easy to find on YouTube, and I decided that audio quality was more important than video quality. If they don't work because embedding has been disabled, watch them on YouTube. It doesn't make sense to me either, but trust me, it's worth it.

Some are old favorites, some are new loves, and mostly I hope that you enjoy them all.

1. "This Side" - Nickel Creek

2. "Brand New Shoes" - She & Him

3. "First Single" - The Format

I have no idea where this video came from, and I'm 99% sure it has nothing to do with The Format, but it was the best audio I could find. The milk cartons are hilariously ridiculous, though.

4. "I Woke Up in a Car" - Something Corporate

Old-School Andrew McMahon. Can we please talk about his hair? Is that an eyebrow ring I see? Is it bad that I can't help but love him? No, not at all. You'll see why.

5. "Swim (Music Box)" - Jack's Mannequin

I told you you'd see why I love him.

That's a wrap!

Ok, one more for good measure...

austin.

Some kid called me “lady” at the pool last week. Raise your hand if you saw that one coming. Yeah, me either.

Then again, a day later a woman asked me if I was in high school. Go figure.

None of that has much to do with my life right now, but I digress.

I just moved to Austin and due to my surprising lack of internet access, I’m a little behind on the blog updates. Here’s my feeble attempt to catch up.

Two weeks ago when I packed the bare minimum of things I thought I’d need in Austin, I’ll admit that I had mixed feelings. I was excited to be moving to a new place (where I knew only one person, who I hadn’t spoken to in four years), starting a new job, meeting new people, and starting the next chapter in my life. I was also terrified. Terrified of the future, of being a grown up, of uprooting myself to a city I didn’t know with people I didn’t know and having to make it on my own. But I think all of that is part of taking chances in life. There’s no excitement without a little bit of fear, just as there is no real joy without the acknowledgment of pain. At least that’s how my mind works.

Now that I’m here, the fear is gone. I’m genuinely happy in this city. Sure, it’s not perfect. Yes, there’s some traffic on my way to and from work, but it’s nothing compared to Houston, and the worst part about the city for me so far is how terrible the drivers are. And yes, I’ve gotten lost on numerous occasions despite the GPS my dad bought for me. But even when I’m lost, I’m more upset at how my GPS is shouting directions at me as I pass the street I’m meant to turn on than I am about being lost in the first place. Even when I don’t know where I am, I’m just happy to be there. Except for the time I ended up near the Travis County Correctional Facility in East Austin. That one wasn’t as much fun. But I had been driving for so long, I’m not even sure I was still in Austin, technically speaking.

Did I mention I’ve made some new friends? The girl I’m living with is one of the most genuinely nice people I’ve ever met. She and my one friend mentioned above have been carting me around introducing me to new people, who I’ve subsequently become friends with. And all of these friends have been nothing short of wonderful. The same goes for the people I work with. I remember starting my job wondering if I was going to be lonely for a little while until people warmed up to me. After all, most of them had been there for a long time and the rest had all started the week before me and had already gotten to know each other. But everyone has been nothing but nice to me. I haven’t had to eat lunch by myself, and we’ve even hung out after work. It also doesn’t hurt that my office (I know, I have an office. With a door. With my name on it. I think it’s weird too) is in a high traffic area, so people come by and talk to me a lot. Plus, the interns (who are mostly in grad school or law school, and are my age or older) sit within earshot of me, so even if we’re not technically in the same room, we may as well be. I’ve listened to more conversations about the World Cup in the past week than I ever have before. And I joined a slow pitch softball team with the rest of the people on staff! We had our first two games on Thursday, I got lost on my way to the park so I missed most of the first game (cue the Travis County Correctional Facility), but I had a lot of fun hanging out with the rest of the staff, even if I feel like I’m twelve years old around them. Keep in mind that they’re not much older than me, but I lack the life experience that they have. Who knows. I’ll catch up. In the meantime, I’m just having fun. I’m enjoying my life and the people I’m sharing it with, and I’m enjoying all of the things Austin has to offer. A few of the interns and I went on Wednesday to Blues on the Green in Zilker Park, and it was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. There’s also an Irish pub downtown (I thought of Liz), a delicious coffee place down the block from where I work called Little City, and I even heard about a Glee-along at the Alamo Drafthouse (Jenna, mark your calendar for July 29th).

I feel like I’ve spent most of this post gushing about how awesome my life is, and let me assure you that it hasn’t been perfect by any means, but I feel like for the first time in a long time I’m more than just content. Maybe it’s because it’s all so new. Maybe some of it comes with the fact that I didn’t expect to like it so much here. Being an Aggie, I never really thought I’d move to Austin. Not only that, I never thought I’d move to Austin and find so many Aggies here with me. I figured I would at least learn to like living here, but I definitely didn’t think I’d love it so much.

IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN LAST NIGHT'S SERIES FINALE OF LOST, DON'T READ THIS POST.

As I sat down to watch the series finale of Lost, I had mixed feelings. I've been faithfully watching this show for six years. Through mindblowingly awesome times, and some not so much (I'm no quitter), I have loved this show with my whole heart. It's sad to see it end.

Some say there are two types of Lost fans. The first type watches for the mysteries of the show. They love the puzzles and questions that have been characteristic of the series from the first episode, and spend their time theorizing and guessing at the meaning of the Island, its inhabitants, and everything in between. The second type watches for the relationships. They care more about the people on the Island than the mystery of the Island itself. Neither is better than the other, they're just different. Personally, I'm a mixture of both.

When I began watching the show, I was the first type. I cared about the people, but mostly in the context of what the Island was doing and how it effected them. I would even argue that the Island was a character in itself. I theorized and wondered and, like many others, watched the show to get answers. But somewhere along the way, I started to care deeply about the characters. I loved Boone (I know, but he's just so pretty), Jack, Sawyer, Kate, Sayid, Mr. Eko, Hurley, all of them (except Ana Lucia, I second Jimmy Kimmel in thanking Harold Perrineau, a.k.a. Michael, for killing her in Season 2). Eventually, I even came around about Juliet.

Which is why this finale was particularly puzzling for me. The type 2 fan in me was satisfied that everyone was together and happy again, bittersweet as it was (come on, they DID all die in the end, how is that not sad). The type 1 fan felt cheated. I still have questions, and while I realize that some don't need to be answered, some do. Most notably, about the final scene of the plane wreckage on the beach. Initially, I took that to mean that they all died in the plane crash in the first episode, and I felt outraged, hurt, and a host of other feelings that I couldn't put into words. I didn't cry the entire episode (tearing up doesn't count), but when I saw that wreckage, the tears came in full force. I realize now that it could've just been the wreckage as it stood when the show ended (after all, even if the castaways wanted to clear it, they'd have no where to put it), but still, it's how I saw it. Then came the questions. Did I really just waste six years of my life following a show in which all of the characters died in the first episode? But then what about Juliet, Ben, and Desmond? They weren't on Oceanic 815. Yes, Desmond could've died when his boat crashed, bringing him to the island, but that still doesn't explain Ben, Juliet, and the rest of the Dharma Initiative who apparently came by boat or submarine. And am I the only one who remembers the producers saying that the island WASN'T purgatory?! Until the very end, I clung to that fact and was comforted by it. That being said, maybe sideways-world was purgatory. I can get on board with that theory. At least that way I don't feel like this was all for nothing. Operating under that theory, everyone didn't die in the first episode, and the island was real. And can I just say that I was incredibly happy that Hurley ended up being the protector of the island? And when he asked Ben to be his number 2, I'll admit that I teared up.

I'm proud of the characters and who they've become, and in that I feel good about the end. I just want some sort of reassurance that I didn't waste the past six years of my life watching a show in which every character died in the first episode.

Needless to say, I'm excited to hear what others think of it.

taking chances

So there's this show Glee, perhaps you've heard of it.

If you're friends with me, chances are you have. It's only one of the best shows on TV right now.

On another, somewhat related note, I've recently been having a semi-existential life crisis. I have spent the better part of the last 21 years of my life doing exactly what was expected of me, and one day I woke up and decided I wanted more than that. And while I don't exactly know what that looks like, I'm excited about figuring it out along the way. I know I won't always get things right, but life's about falling down and picking yourself up again, brushing the dirt off of your knees and moving forward.

I'm graduating in less than a month and literally have no idea what I'm doing, and am surprisingly okay with that. For the first time in my life, I don't have a plan. It makes me feel like the sky is the limit.

This brings me back to Glee (I know, this seems erratic). They're having an open casting call, and I've decided to give it a shot. So I made an audition video, uploaded it to myspace (yes, myspace. I know. I haven't been on myspace since high school either), and now it's time to wait and see what happens. If you really love me, you'll go to the website, find me (don't worry, there's a search bar), and give me a gold star. But if you think I suck, please don't tell me. I'd rather not know, and if it's not too much to ask, give me a gold star anyway, just because.

I know that this is a long shot, but it's as my mom says, "it's a long shot for everyone, and someone's going to get it." So here's to me taking a chance. I'm glad I did it.

truly, truly, heaven must feel like this.

The best description I've ever heard for Spring Awakening is that it's about "kids growing up in a world where the grown-ups hold all the cards."

These grown-ups hold their cards particularly close to their chests.

Set in late-nineteenth century Germany, it follows a group of teenagers in their attempts to figure out life despite the fact that their parents and teachers have done everything in their power to keep them in the dark. Needless to say, some handle it better than others. But in the end, it's all tragic.

Despite my usual need for things to end with roses and butterflies, I loved this musical. It was incredible. In fact, my favorite characters were those with the most tragic stories. My heart went to out to Moritz (who was, hands down, my favorite). I hate giving things away for those who haven't had the opportunity to experience something firsthand, so I refuse to write about any major plot points. If you haven't seen it, I think you're missing out. Even if all you can do is watch the pirated videos uploaded on YouTube, it's well worth watching.

I had the opportunity to experience this musical live this past weekend in Dallas. The touring cast for Spring Awakening was, in short, wonderful. I even got to meet one of my celebrity crushes circa ninth grade, Jake Epstein. If you weren't a die-hard Degrassi fan, then you won't know who I'm talking about. He played Craig Manning, who was my favorite character (hence the ensuing crush). But in Spring Awakening, he was playing Melchior, and he did an incredible job. After the show, the cast stood around the lobby accepting donations for Broadway Cares. As I walked up to him with my measly four dollars, I'm not going to lie, I was a little starstruck. I nervously told him that I loved him on Degrassi. He thanked me, looking mildly surprised that I recognized him, seeing as it was a Canadian TV show that he was on over five years ago, and we're in Texas. I felt embarrassed, but in the end I'm glad I had the courage to go talk to him. I would have regretted it otherwise.

And here begins phase one of my obsession with Spring Awakening. No judgement.